I Felt Ignored. Overlooked. Invisible. But Menopause Wasn't the Whole Story.
And believe me, my menopause symptoms were absolutely bloody horrendous. So nobody needs to convince me how debilitating menopause can be. I know. I've lived it. But this isn't just about me. I've seen and heard it from many others.
Here's something I've learned, both from my own experience and from 30 years working in HR and recruitment.
Not everything that happens to a woman during menopause is because of menopause.
And not everything that makes her working life difficult can be fixed by talking about her symptoms.
When I think about my own experiences, I remember the managers who made the biggest difference to me. One simply asked, "What do you need? What help do you need?" Another said, "Tell me what it is you want. How can we support you?"
And then they did it!
I didn't have to answer questions about my hormones or discuss my symptoms. They didn't make assumptions about what I might be going through. They listened, respected my experience and gave me the support I needed.
That's what helped me.
I wonder whether we're missing a large part of the menopause-at-work conversation. We've become very good at talking about symptoms, awareness, policies and support. But what about everything else happening around someone whose experience isn't one-size-fits-all?
Is she still being considered for promotion? Is her experience valued? Is she being overlooked for opportunities because somebody assumes she's winding down her career?
Has a change in performance led to a fair conversation about workload and expectations, or has somebody already made up their mind about what's going on?
And if she eventually resigns, do we understand why? Or do we simply record another departure and move on?
These aren't necessarily menopause problems. They're organisational problems.
Menopause may be one piece of the puzzle. Age, caring responsibilities, bereavement, workplace culture and management behaviour may be others. And the pieces don't always fit together in the way we assume.
My work looks beyond individual symptoms to the decisions organisations make throughout the employee lifecycle, from recruitment and development through to performance, progression and exit.
It's about examining what happens in practice, identifying where assumptions influence decisions and giving managers something useful to work with.
Because a policy won't tell you why an experienced woman wasn't shortlisted. An awareness session won't explain why she stopped being considered for leadership opportunities. And an exit interview may never reveal why she really left.
We need to stop assuming we know what's happening to women at work simply because we know they're going through menopause.
Some women want to talk about their symptoms. Others don't. Both choices deserve respect. What every employee should be able to expect is fair treatment, sensible decisions and a manager who knows how to offer practical support without requiring a personal medical history.
The cost of replacing an experienced employee is huge. So is the cost of defending an employment tribunal claim and potentially paying compensation. The damage to an organisation's reputation can be just as costly.
But what is the cost while she's still there?
I felt ignored, overlooked and invisible. And I wonder how many other women feel the same, while organisations continue to miss opportunities, overlook experience and make decisions nobody thinks to question.
And who's measuring that?
That's where awareness needs to turn into action.